Carla’s Blog

My ashes will be smoldering on the Arno River when I discover that my daughters tossed all of the photo books I painstakingly crafted and created about their childhood. Yet I will have loved them and carefully paged through them, even as my eyes faltered and my body failed me. This is why I really created them, right ? Not for family members to adore them as I have, but as a loving memory keeper of all that was right and wonderful of childhood. I should explore other avenues to allow my girls to keep them, however. I WILL find a location to scan each page and store these delightful books in a digital form. I feel better already…..

Our collections and OUR loves should never be pushed on to our children. Our love for corkscrews was OUR love. Our children do not need or want all 1500 corkscrews ! It is just very difficult to believe that, however. These collections were gathered over decades and were found with such a sense of joy. It makes it hard for us to imagine that anyone would not be happy with a collection of coffee mills ! Unfortunately, it is obviously true and OUR “stuff” is just that. Our stuff. Not our children’s. We must realize that our passions were our own. Just as our children have their own unique passions. Sigh…

As we take stock of items in our home, we made a conscious decision to store some treasures based on possible needs in the future. How does one choose what should be saved and stored? What memories do we have of an item? If there is a true connection or emotion, then an item might have value in another home one day. But if it will be stored in a cabinet or closet, why keep it at all??? If it IS in a closet right now, does it need to be saved and stored ? We noticed that a chair which we loved ten years ago does not have that same “hold” over us now. Is it less special now? I think that the emotional bondage to that item has just shifted a bit. And that’s okay. Times change and feelings about those “special” items change too.

All of these ponderings have a tiny bit to do with an attempt at minimalism. I read an article where a person loved books and had no reason to toss or give away their prized possessions. The writer questioned whether the person had to actually own the items or not. Couldn’t one go to the library to read that great book? Is one required to KEEP everything that could truly be found somewhere at any given moment?

Is that why we hold onto “things” ? We love them and want to touch them. A wave of nostalgia and love wash over me when I page through the photo books of my children. I remember each moment with such passion that I can be moved to tears. The same happens when I hold the sugar bowl from my grandmother’s pottery collection. I am transported back in her kitchen as an eight year old, sitting at the table as Grandma scoops a heaping spoonful of sugar into the coffee cup she lovingly hands me. And I smile as a tear runs down my face. Yes, I have to keep that sugar bowl. I don’t care what you say.